I was walking down to a departmental store at the next lane to my home and I preferred to walk down to get a bit of exercise after being on my bed all the time relaxing after never ending exam schedule. On the way I saw my neighbor’s daughter whose name I was desperately trying to remember all these days and the name just came as a flash of lightening to me. I was trying to remember this li’l girl’s name for a week and I kept on saying… its some English word… and not a desi name… and made a lot of guess works but nothing worked and I felt embarrassed to ask her name either to her or anyone. Means come on I am reaching 25 and I can’t be so old not to remember names. And when I was not thinking of her I remembered her name. I really wondered how the mechanism of the memory gland works.
The memory gland has a lot of space for improvement… seriously! When I am reading my notes or even a book for instance I remember all sorts of unimportant things that start to seem important as they constantly flash before me. I have devised a new way to shoo them off… I call my aunt. She was the one who has taken care of me since the day I was born. She was always so soft and amiable otherwise but when it came to my studies she turned into Hitler. So whenever my studies are interrupted by some silly thoughts I call out her name loudly and the thoughts evaporate.
But sometimes when there are some things that just haunt me. They are neither trivial nor important rather they should mean nothing to me, but they are strong enough to traumatize me, throw a chill through my spine and even my aunt’s name is unable to drive these thoughts away. They are neither good nor bad memories but just experiences that I try to flee from. But they just come, like a recurring migraine attacks or menstrual cycles… painful, stinky and inevitable.
They make me go lame and weak, and I am left tongue tied. It’s like a film with excessively bright colored video which hurt my eyes and a high pitched volume and the bass and treble settings are to their maximum which is enough to darken my mind with its presence. It doesn’t matter if I close or keep my eyes open; the film doesn’t fade away till I am exhausted to a level of being semi conscious. I wanna be dead at that moment… go into trance and then never return but the moment I start feeling weightless and I move outwards there’s a knock on my door, which interrupts my astral journey… a journey started to never look back.
